A Mother’s Day Gift that gives every hour on the hour!

Say what?

A Mother’s Day Gift that gives every hour on the hour?

What on Earth are you talking about?

I’m talking about the mega-awesome event going on over at Postpartum Progress, Katherine Stone’s blog and the widest read blog about Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders in the nation!

On Sunday, starting at midnight, Postpartum Progress will be publishing an open “letter” from an absolutely stellar group of authors and bloggers. All of these women (and man) will be sharing from their hears about Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders. Some are medical professionals, some are therapists, some are survivors. But one thing is for sure. They ALL have a passion for supporting women and families as they navigate their way through the survival of a PMAD.

I was fortunate enough to be included in this wonderful group of women. I’m SO excited about this event!

So now you have a gift that gives each and every hour at no cost to you. Sneak away to the printer and grab that hour’s post for the deserving woman in your life. This is one event you don’t want to miss!

You can read more about the event at Katherine’s blog by clicking here.

ABC’s Private Practice shows Insensitivity to New Dads

by Lauren Hale

This past Thursday at 10pm ET, ABC’s Private Practice aired an episode that was to deal with Postpartum Depression. Impressively they even took the time to contact PSI and worked with the Public Relations Chairperson, Katherine Stone, on the development of a PSA to air after the programming. Many of us in the PPD advocacy community were excited about this and sincerely hoped it signaled progress and responsibility by Hollywood to finally get their homework done and represent Postpartum Mood Disorders in the right light.

We were sadly left with egg on our faces and broken and furiously beating hearts yet again.

The Mom struggling with a Mood Disorder entered the show early on and presented with manic/anxiety symptoms. She had brought her baby in because the infant had “slipped” under the water while being given a bath. Picking up on her anxiety and exhaustion, Cooper took the mom to talk with Violet, who seemingly pawned the Mom off on Pete for some acupuncture to treat her exhaustion. Pete notices the Mom is beyond the need for acupuncture and in need of some serious psychiatric care. He returns to Violet who fesses up she was suspecting Psychosis. Pete was sarcastically grateful for having shared this info with him.

Meanwhile Mom (who, by the way seemingly has been left alone – another HUGE no-no for a mom with true psychosis!) has a panicked scene in which she thinks she hears the baby crying (turns out she is) then proceeds (with acupuncture needles sticking out of her face) to confess that she purposely held her infant under water after she slipped, thinking that no one would know for a few hours and she could get some sleep.

Enter Dad.

How could he have missed his wife’s symptoms? Riddled with guilt and confusion, he has his wife admitted to the local hospital for care.

This is where I need to point out that it is not horribly uncommon for Dad to miss Mom’s symptoms and does not make Dad a bad person for not being clued in. Women are great at hiding how we really feel. Why? Because that’s what you DO! You put on this act to fool everyone into believing everything is ok because you know what you’re supposed to be doing. I did this the first time around – even to the point of fooling my OB into not diagnosing me (huge mistake).

I know when I was struggling the first time around I didn’t tell my husband much until right before I needed to be seen. By then I had already been having some serious Intrusive Thoughts (these are fleeting negative thoughts typically had by Moms with Postpartum OCD) that led me to hide knives and go on a news black out. I wondered what happened if someone got stabbed. What does that look like? Is there really a lot of blood like in the movies? I feared quite often my daughter would be dead when I went to get her up to nurse and was quite often surprised that she was still breathing and alive. My husband didn’t know most of this until nearly three years later – after I was an advocate and had spiraled down so far after our second child I landed in a psychiatric ward.

Dads – please do not blame yourself if your wife develops a Postpartum Mood Disorder and you don’t notice the symptoms right off the bat. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME AND SHE WILL BE WELL.

There are signs and symptoms to be on the lookout for though but these are not always a guarantee of a PMD. A PMD should always be diagnosed and treated by a professional, preferably a team including a Psychiatrist, Psychologist or Therapist, a Pediatrician (for baby), and also a Lactation Consultant if Mom is nursing. It’s hard to get this team together and communicating but these are the professionals that need to be consulted.

Be sure to give your wife at least a couple of weeks to get her hormones back in order. If she develops new symptoms or her symptoms increase in intensity, it’s time to get her to the doctor. Familiarize yourself with the emergency signs of Psychosis. While rare and occurring in 1 to 2 births per 1000, it is the deadliest of the Postpartum Mood Disorders and carries a 5% suicide and infanticide rate. Onset is fast, guys. Psychosis can set in within 24-72 hours, sometimes immediately after birth, sometimes within the first couple of months. Also, 50% first time moms above the age of 35 with no history of mental illness are more likely to develop Psychosis than other moms.

I’ve digressed long enough.

None of this information was in the show. None of it is at the Private Practice site. None of this! Were we mentioned as support for fathers? Nope. Was David Klinker, the Postpartum Support International’s Coordinator for Fathers mentioned as a source of Support or information support? Nope. How about Will Courtenay, the Men’s PSI Coordinator? Nope. And for the record, ALL of contact information for the above support is blatantly available at the PSI website.

Shame on ABC for such an idiotic portrayal of a father. Shame on ABC for not explaining that it’s actually pretty normal for a father not to notice his wife’s symptoms and not addressing the issue. SHAME ON ABC.

Let’s send ABC a message. Stop watching Private Practice (or at least get your wife to). Get your friends to stop watching. Make the numbers go down. Decrease the marketability of the show. We all know what happens when people stop watching shows. They pull the plug. So I’m asking – help pull the plug on ABC’s Private Practice. Don’t support a show that pretends to do their homework then presents a completely different picture when the spotlight finds them. We deserve better.