You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Postpartum Depression’ tag.
The awesome dads over at DadLabs have put together a great video about Postpartum Depression.
Not only do they interview a knowledgeable therapist, but they also take time out to acknowledge the recent study published in JAMA about dads experiencing Postpartum Depression.
Please go check it out for some great information about Postpartum Depression.
First, apologies for not keeping this project up as I had originally hoped. I could list a bunch of excuses but I won’t. I take full responsibility for not updating regularly and not providing the support envisioned at the onset. I’m deeply sorry for not being here for those in need. I hope you’ll forgive me.
That said, I have been doing some very deep thinking about this project over the past few weeks. And I’ve drawn a conclusion. Not literally, mind you – there’s not a napkin somewhere with scribbles on it. Anymore.
I think one of the biggest reasons I did not update as often as I should have here was because I was intimidated. Sure, I grew up in a family of guys and have always related to guys more than girls but to start a support project and have the pressure of having to relate to men in that way was way more intense than I expected. I stayed away because I was scared of saying the wrong thing or not relating to someone in pain or need.
It hit me the other day that I don’t have to pretend to be someone I am not here because what I am is a mom who has survived Postpartum Depression twice and hospitalization for Postpartum Depression once. I’ve experienced depression while pregnant. I’m a mom who has helped numerous families over the past four years get through precisely what you’re facing now. I’m aware of the resources, the signs, the symptoms, the issues surrounding Postpartum Mood Disorders. I know first hand the chaos it can bring to a marriage and to a family. And it’s not fun to go at it alone.
So here I am, just a mom, totally and 100% available to you as support during your struggles with a Postpartum Mood Disorder. Have a question? Ask it. I’ll answer it or get you in touch with someone who can. Need help? I’m your gal.
I won’t be able to read your mind or your wife’s mind. I can’t explain behavior, I can’t diagnose and I cannot recommend one medication or course of treatment over the other. You have to do what is best for you and your situation. And obviously, you’ll want to seek professional help if you even think there’s a possibility of Postpartum Mood Disorders.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be making a concerted effort to publish more often here about topics you need to hear about. Things like therapy options, the differences between the various postpartum mood disorders, how to best help your wife, how to keep caregiver burnout at bay, and anything else for which you may need answers.
I look forward to connecting with you and creating a community of support.
Warmest,
Lauren
NPR recently did a story regarding the effect Depression has on the entire family. This piece led to the discovery of an organization called “Families for Depression Awareness.”
Founded by a woman who’s brother committed suicide after several attempts to get him help, the organization is dedicated to raising depression awareness for family members. They encourage full family involvement in recovery which is something the Postpartum Dads Project also encourages.
One of the family profiles at Families for Depression Awareness centers around Postpartum Depression. You can read it by clicking here.
Whether it’s your wife or yourself struggling with depression after the birth of a child the two of you owe it to your child(ren) to heal and support the struggling partner. This enables your children to see your dedication to your partner and teaches them the invaluable lesson of not giving up when the going gets tough.
Please take a moment to check Families for Depression Awareness. Know that you are not part of the problem even if your wife is shouting, yelling, and arguing with you for no apparent reason. It’s the PPD talking. You are part of the solution. Offer to take the baby. Encourage her to take time for herself. Research about Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders so you better understand what her world is looking like right now.
More than ever, your wife needs you front and center. Her world has crumbled around her and you are her rock. It’s ok for you to be quivering too. Let her know that. Most often I felt better when I knew my husband was struggling too. It let me know I wasn’t alone. I’m not suggesting you lie to her – just be honest about how things are going for you as you travel the long road back to recovery with her. Honest but not accusatory. Honest but not hateful. Honest but not spiteful. Honest and Compassionate. One day she will thank you. It may not be right now. It may not be tomorrow. But she will thank you down the road. And she may or may not cry while doing so.
Back when we first launched, I promised an interview with Wade Bowen. I am absolutely thrilled to be finally posting his words about his journey through Postpartum Depression with his wife. Wade is a no-holds barred kinda guy. A good ol’ Texas country singer, he’s written a song about PPD, Turn on the Lights, and even hosted a charity Golf Tournament to benefit PSI’s work. I am honored to be sharing his thoughts with you today and hope you or someone you love benefit from his story. Thanks, Wade, for speaking out.
Would you share your experience as your wife struggled with Postpartum Depression? What kind of emotions and thoughts did you have as you witnessed her depression?
Well it was tough at first because she and I had no clue about PPD or that it might be what she was going through. I had really never heard of it before and I’m pretty sure she hadn’t either. So, for the first part of it, I just thought she didn’t love me anymore. Being on the road as much as I was at that time I know it was hard on her and I really felt like I was to blame for what she was going through. The worse it got though, I realized that it was definitely something more than that.
When did your wife’s depression become obvious? What did you both do to help her recover?
I just remember coming home one Sunday and seeing a different person in her eyes when she met me at the door. There was a ton of anger in there and I could see it and I knew that was not her…at least not since I had known her. From there on, I mainly just held on for dear life until she got better. I just tried to be very patient and understanding but it was very difficult to do that most of the time. We fought a lot and disagreed on so many things and she was so protective of our son, that I couldn’t do anything really with him. So, I just held on and hoped it would get better and it did. She didn’t want to talk about it.
How have you grown as a man and as a father as a result of PPD?
Without a doubt. Like they say, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and I believe that it has all been part of the process of Shelby and I growing our love deeper every day. I know she would tell you the same. I guess you could say that the positive way to look at it is that our relationship went through that and it survived somehow. I think we both now feel we can tackle anything that comes our way. She’s a much stronger person now and I’m so proud of her and the mother she is. It’s pretty amazing to watch.
The song, Turn on the Lights is about your family’s struggle with Depression after the birth of your son. Describe what it was like to write the song and what feelings you have when you perform such a personal tale on stage.
I was right in the middle of the worst period of PPD for us when this idea hit me. The only way to describe it was that I actually felt like a child scared of the dark. Stephony Smith, a beautiful songwriter in Nashville, was patient enough to let this song and the emotions happen. It’s very rare that you can sit with someone and write something this personal but she was all about it and amazing!!
Luckily, for me, my songwriting and my career has always been an open book so I don’t believe too many people were shocked to hear such a true story from me. I do think, however, they were shocked to hear about the details of our story within the song. But that is the best way to conduct yourself I believe with anything in life…lay it all out there and leave nothing to doubt. That way you can always be sure of yourself and your actions. But, once again, the true hero of the song was my wife. She’s the one that forever has to deal with hearing it. She is the one that allowed me to be so public about it so that it may help others. I couldn’t have done it without her.
What do you love about being a father? What is the funniest thing your son has done to date?
I love coming home! That is the most rewarding feeling. I spend so much time away and to have him run to me with a huge smile right when I walk in the door is the coolest thing I will ever experience. It makes everything disappear and I fall right into this wonderful moment of happiness and love. My son is pretty funny overall. I would have to say that his dance moves are my favorite and funniest thing he does. It is one of those things you cannot possibly explain. You just have to see it. So far, he’s been the hit of every wedding I’ve been in!
One thing I often recommend to mothers and families I work with is to keep a gratitude journal. In that spirit, would you share with us what three things you are most grateful for today?
1. My boys
2. My wife
3.The gift of music
Share with us some of the ways you were able to participate in your wife’s recovery even though you were on the road because of your music.
I truly don’t know. Like I said, I just didn’t give up on us. It was so hard to hold on but I just kept believing it was all going to get better and I held on to my son as hard as I could and just tried to be there. I wasn’t perfect and I will never claim that I was. I made many mistakes. I was just unsure what to do at all times. I firmly believe my son held us together more than we did.
Let’s face it. Parenting is not easy. What are some of your most difficult daily parenting challenges?
Well, my most difficult challenge is not being able to be there every day like most parents. That is not easy for me at all and definitely not easy for my wife or my kids. We just make do as you are supposed to do in life and work through it, knowing that is the only way we’ll survive. The one thing that keeps me going is that the boys don’t know any better. So I just remind myself of that and remind myself they will be there when I get home and that keeps me going.
You hosted an event, the Wade Bowen Classic, which benefited Postpartum Support International, a wonderful organization dedicated to supporting women and families as they journey to recover from Postpartum Depression. Would you share with us how this opportunity came about?
I’ve been doing this event for 11 years now and just love doing it. The golf tournament has turned into quite a fun event and now the concert is quickly growing into a huge stream of revenue for our event as well. We actually chose them last year for our charity with the help of a great organization called “Big Hearted Babes.” We hired them to help us with the event and they did some great research on a few different charities in the country. It just seemed that PSI had everything together very well and seemed to be very organized and excited to work with us. PSI was amazing for our event and it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life and career to have worked with them. Together, with the help of some fellow musicians, we raised $85,000! I’d say that is a pretty good start!
And last but not least – if you had a chance to share just one piece of advice with an expectant father (new or experienced), what would it be?
Tell the doctors, nurses, anyone you can find to talk to you both about the possibilities of not only PPD, but the emotional toll that the mother takes when having a baby and ask them for advice on how to handle the emotional stress that is going to happen. It is different for everyone, but almost all experience some kind of emotional change. I firmly believe that this is the “cure” for PPD and a huge step in the right direction to getting women the help they need and deserve!
The following was originally published by Susan Dowd Stone @ EmpowHer.com. It appears at Postpartum Dads Project with Susan’s permission.
First, let me thank the thousands of you who are sending in your names to endorse life saving legislation for mothers, infants and families. We are trying to post ASAP. Please join us! Many of you have included personal stories of your own experiences which offer a far more powerful inducement to pass this legislation than anything I could ever write. Among the most frequent comment from mothers and family members is “I wish I had known”
We desperately need the public awareness campaigns, research, treatment and support for postpartum mothers that will be funded by The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act NOW. There is not another moment or life to lose.
Joseph A. Raso sent this account of the tragic loss of his precious daughter to postpartum depression. He asked me to post it or share it wherever I felt it could help pass The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act.
The Best Meal of My Life
I experienced the best meal of my life the other day. That’s saying a lot from a man who is just shy of 60, and has spent his entire life in the restaurant business. Since my 6th birthday, when my parents opened up La Bella’s, a little mom and pop Italian restaurant, I have had the opportunity to travel and enjoy delicious meals prepared by some the world’s finest chefs.
Even after my wife left, and I was faced the prospect of raising two energetic children on peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and Hamburger Helper, I never lost my appetite for fine dining.
In the early 90’s I met my current wife Mary, a beautiful single mom of two. Her parents had passed, so I asked her eldest teenage daughter, Crystal, for permission to take her mom to dinner. It’s funny – looking back now, I can’t tell you what Mary was wearing, but the restaurant was a perfect combination of cozy atmosphere and scrumptious food.
As 2000 rolled around, our kids now grown, Mary and I discovered cruise ships. We realized, if we carefully picked our departure dates, we could cruise for about $200.00 a day with the all important, MEALS INCLUDED!
On a cruise ship, nothing surpasses the experience of a savory dinner of two hours, your meal prepared by top chefs, while enjoying an unhurried conversation with your spouse. A brochure on one of our cruises informed us that, for an extra $25.00, we could have the “Ultimate Dining Experience”. We could not believe our meals could get any tastier but we gave it a try. Words cannot explain the evening. The service was impeccable and the food was to die for. Gazing at Mary across the table with the moon rising behind her made my dinner all the more unforgettable.
We have been on about ten cruises now and I never thought we could top those culinary delights, until the other day, when I experienced the best meal of my life.
Crystal, the oldest of our four children, was always the more serious. She was the one to whom we entrusted our most important papers and house keys when we left town. Crystal gave birth to Hannah in 2003 and baby Max in 2007. When Max was born, things just seemed to bother Crystal more. She seemed to worry about everything. We tried to reassure her, but that was Crystal, the worrier.
On Feb 25, 2008, we got together with her and her husband, Chris, for lunch. Everything seemed fine. On Feb 27, 2008 at 11:45 AM, Mary received a call from the police concerning a family emergency at Crystal’s house. As we raced the few blocks to her house, I feared the worse. Did baby Max, not yet four months old, die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome? I begged: God please let Max be OK!
As we rounded the corner and their house came into view, there were police cars in the streets and driveway. A detective who was polite, but uninformative, stopped Mary and I from entering the house. As I turned back to the street, I noticed Chris holding baby Max. Knowing that Hannah was in school, I asked him what was going on. With a dazed look in his eyes he told us that Crystal had shot and killed herself.
She had seemed unusually worried the past few days, always fussing about Max, unable to get a good night’s sleep. Attempting to breast feed as long as possible, she was concerned that her milk was drying up. We didn’t notice the symptoms of what we later learned was, Postpartum Depression. We just thought that was Crystal, always worrying.
Over a year has now passed. We have all pulled together and gotten into the routine of helping Chris raise Hannah, his precocious first grade daughter, and Max, a handsome boy of sixteen months. I have volunteered to give Max his 06:00 AM feeding five days a week. This occupied my time and kept my mind off of Crystal. Mary would come over at 07:15 and get Hannah ready for school. In the morning commotion, Chris would wolf down some cereal, and if the kids were up, give them a kiss, and out the door he’d go, grateful for us being there.
It is amazing how we live assumptive lives. Every day, we assume our family will always be there. It’s not that we have taken them for granted it is just that no one ever expects to outlive their own child. I now appreciate the little things in life more. I love Max’s happy giggle every morning as I sing to him while changing his diaper. The joy experienced viewing Hannah’s beautiful sleepy face, when she rolls out of bed is unexplainable.
Mary and I took all four grand kids to a matinee the other day. After the movie, we stopped at Target to get them a snack. “We want the Kids $2.00 Hot Dog & Soda Special,” they yelled. Mary and I sat at a table across from them. As we ate, we enjoyed the view of our grandkids just being kids. I savored every second of hearing them laugh and watching them play as I finished my salad and hot dog. It was the best meal of my life.
Joseph and his family ask that you support The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act.
Check out the post Welcome to Fatherhood: Shock & Awe over at Writer Dad’s blog.
It’s an excerpt from Shelley Binkey, M.D.’s book, DIY Baby: Your Essential Pregnancy Handbook.
This post addresses quite a few things but includes Postpartum Depression.
Thanks to Writer Dad for broaching this topic!
A few days ago, I came across a wonderfully open and transparent post written by a husband about his wife’s experience with a Postpartum Mood Disorder over at the Hidden Sage blog.There’s a tremendous rarity to his post though – his wife unfortunately suffered from sexual abuse as a child, something which has raised her risk factor and level of struggle with her Mood Disorder. They’ve used a psychiatrist along with a naturopath for treatment as well. I’ve obtained his permission to repost his story here and I sincerely hope it will help other men who may find themselves in this rare yet real scenario. Thank you for your gracious permission and your bravery in sharing your story with us.
My Wife’s Cycles
My wife has her ups and downs, and if her downs aren’t carefully monitored she can easily crash. She has crashed before; one major crash happened a few years ago after she gave birth to our daughter. At first she just seemed sad and down, but nothing in her behavior was particularily all that worrisome. Then her sadness started to appear more and more like depression. Soon afterwards she started having violent and suicidal thoughts. She’d tell me how she’d get thoughts of violently throwing our kids against the wall, how she just loses it when they’d cry, how she isn’t cut out to be a mother, etc. Her mental state was fragile; her post-partum was just getting worse and worse.
Back then I used to spend half my time at work worried about what my wife was going through. The minute I got home I’d take over. I’d feed the kids, change their diapers, spend time with them and put them to sleep while my wife would go out in an attempt to get her mind off things. More often than not, I was the one that would get up at those post-midnight hours to tend to our kids. She’d be worn out, irritable and hating, and I’d be much too worried about both her and our kids.
Neither of us understood the realities that lie beneath post-partum. We both thought that she would overcome it in due time. By the time we eventually decided to start seeking professional help, she was a mess. Professional help made a huge difference to her; it took her out of her depression. Between the psychiatrist and naturopath her mind and state were gathering back together into something less fragile. Her violent thoughts cleared away, her spirit rose, and she was getting back into her old self. Well, almost.
During the healing process my wife had to come to terms with her reality, and it brought back a lot of her past childhood issues. There were things about her that she needed to confront, but never did. There were traumatic events in her life that no one ever did anything about, events that went beyond her never being raised with one of her parents for more than a couple of years at a time. Her parents divorced soon after she was born and her mom left her with her dad, who in turn left her with his sister. She kept going back and forth between living with her aunt and her father, both of which lived in different countries, until she eventually ran away to her mom during her college years. Those were, however, not the worst of her childhood issues.
She was first sexually abused when she was 6 years old by one of her uncles during a family summer vacation. She was much too young and confused to know what to make of it all. As she grew older other men around her started to take advantage of her as well, at that young age, she didn’t know how to react. Some of those sick men were her father’s best friends and others were her uncles. This sexual abuse lasted for six years, until she was 12. At some point she had attempted telling her step-mother but got a slap across the face in response. To her parents she was just coming up with stories and calling for attention. When she eventually ran away to her mom’s, her step-father took advantage of her. None of these issues had ever been confronted or resolved. I hadn’t known the magnitude of her childhood traumas until after she had started going to the psychiatrist.
Coming to terms with all that had happened to her took a lot out of both of us. I confronted her father, mother and step-father when I found that they weren’t responding to her raising the issues of her past. I cut myself off from her family for about a year. Their reactions and responses to what she told them infuriated the both of us. It took a lot out of her to mend her relations with her parents after what they had done. Her step-father, however, wouldn’t dare show his face around either of us ever again.
My understanding is that people who were sexually abused as kids tend to have major identity issues. They struggle to figure out who they really are and what they’re about. Whether or not that’s the case with all sexually abused people, it’s definitely my wife’s reality. Every now and then she goes through those periods of confusion. They can last anywhere from a week to over a month, depending on how we handle it.
Our naturopath helped us out a lot. She put a lot of effort and time into helping my wife out, and she was basically the only one my wife would go to once she stopped seeing her psychiatrist.
My wife’s cycles still persist and although they’re far less intense than they used to be, the cycles are still a matter of concern to both of us. I’m planning on taking her to Amen Clinics early on this summer and checking up with her psychiatrist once again in the meantime. Although the naturopath was of great help, I think she needs the help only medical therapy can offer.
She’s been going through one of her down cycles for a couple of weeks now. It was peaking a little over a week ago and she now seems to be coming out from it, thanks to our naturopath’s continual free follow-ups. We have decided though, that from now until we head to Amen Clinics, she’ll be going back to seeing her psychiatrist.
There are obviously a lot more layers and issues that affect my wife, but none of them have been as devastating to her as her sexually abused past. It’s always a hurtful experience to see her going through her downward cycles, especially when she’s still unaware that it’s actually happening.
A couple of weeks ago, we shared the journey with Amber Koter-Puline. Today we’ll get her husband’s point of view. It’s important to include dad in the postpartum experience because his support is invaluable to recovery. I want to thank Michael from the depths of my heart for sharing his story so openly and for supporting Amber so wonderfully during such a difficult experience. I hope this provides invaluable insight for new or expecting fathers who may either find themselves in a similar situation or know someone who is already there.
What makes you tick? Tell us a little bit about who you are!
I enjoy business – specifically the retail real estate business. I enjoy all aspects of my business. I spend a good portion of my time dedicated to being successful in my work so that I can provide for my family. I also enjoy spending time training Gracie jiu jitsu; its something that I have always wanted to get into before but didn’t have the opportunity. When we moved to Atlanta and I found a place to train and I immediately began. I am a morning person! I like to get up very early before others to accomplish things. I am generally waiting for the gym to open at 4:45am when I arrive. Sometimes they let us in early. On nights that I am not at jiu jitsu, I play the guitar and enjoy spending time with my family.
You’ve walked the dark path of Postpartum Depression with your wife. Share with us what it was like to watch the woman you loved seemingly slip away into a dark shell.
It was awful. I saw a highly motivated and capable person become so helpless and undergo such a radical change. It is almost as if you no longer know the person. They are someone else. It was very difficult for me because I didn’t really believe it was happening. I thought that it would go away on its own. But, when Amber came to me and recognized that she was in need of professional help I knew that it was serious. It was very difficult to deal with. I had to change my work schedule and Amber had to even come with me to work some days. It was almost as if she had regressed mentally to a 4 year old. She had to be at my side almost 24-7. You can’t believe it until you experience it.
How did your faith support you through Amber’s recovery?
It helped in many ways. One of the biggest was seeing the outpouring of help from our church community. Even people who we did not expect to come through for us came and truly tried to make a difference in our lives and help us with this difficult situation. As a result of having gone through this, my faith has grown stronger and I can now see why God chose this to happen to my wife.
What has it been like to see your wife take something so painful and turn it into such a point of strength and grace?
It has been really nice. I know she enjoys it. Anytime you go through a challenge and are able to transform it into a positive aspect of others lives I believe it is the ultimate blessing you can receive. Amber has done this. She has put her heart and soul into a blog, website, communicating with others, and constantly trying to reach out and help others. It is very commendable. I love her for it. It feels really good to know that she wants to help others. She took the situation, transformed it, and is giving it back to God by helping others. It’s the only way to live.
Did PPD affect your marriage? If so, how?
Yes, in many ways. It has changed our plans for future children (we had previously wanted a larger family.) We had to change our schedules and had to change the dynamics of our child-rearing than we had previously planned. You see, Amber and I had initially thought about having several children, however when she went through such a severe PPMD it really changed her desire and made her feel as if she could never handle more than one child, as she could barely physically and emotionally handle this one. As she had continued to get better, I believe her opinion continues to change slightly. For the first 3 or 4 months I had to do the lion’s share of the night-time wakings, because she needed to rest. At first I think I resented her for it, but now I think it helped me to build an irreplaceable bond with my son. While it was difficult at the time, I am very much thankful for the opportunity to do that because the benefits clearly outweigh the sacrifice I made. Hey, whats a few hours sleep for a guy who gets up at 4:30am anyways? I think as a result we take specific time in our day to better ourselves- praying together, reading and discussing books together, etc. We truly want each other to grow and develop everyday as individuals and parents. We are much more committed to each other. Not just to having our marriage be ok or something we endure, but to flourish. It also changed how we now interact. We have a different relationship. It’s much stronger.
Fathers need to remember not to lose themselves in the process of parenting. What is it that you do to just hang out and be a “guy”?
Jiu Jitsu. I train. For me, jiu jitsu offers me the opportunity to escape. Going to the gym is similar, but jiu jitsu provides me the one on one competition that drives me to do better every day. I think one of the reasons I like it so much is that I wrestled as a child. I always enjoyed wrestling and jiu jitsu is similar, but you wear a gi instead and the object is to submit an opponent vs. pin them. Outside of that, I really like to watch football. College, NFL, it doesn’t matter! My wife will watch “our teams,” but can’t understand at all why I would watch other games. For me, this is how I relax…sitting on the couch or in my chair, with a cold beer Sweetwater 420 (shameless local beer plug!) in my hand. That’s my release.
3 things that made me laugh…
Telling others a story about how a rock hit my windshield.
My son saying “mango” as one of his first words.
Remembering when my wife saw a coyote walking down the middle of our street when she had PPD. I asked her if it was real. She replied, “I am crazy, but not THAT crazy!” The next day we got a notice about a neighborhood coyote spotting. 🙂
What do you find the most and least challenging about fatherhood?
Having patience with my son has been challenging. I sell things…I am a salesman. I have absolutely NO patience for anything and I don’t care to. For me, patience was not important at all. But now, with my son, I start to realize that there are times where it is needed. I think that because my love for him is so strong I am able to be more patient and give him the attention that he needs.
I think just having fun with my son comes easily and naturally to me. Ball, guitar, piano, wrestling, etc. If there is one thing that I know how to do, it’s how to have fun! I have spent my whole life enjoying every moment. Get the fullest out of life. I want to look back and say I wouldn’t have done anything differently. It’s the only way to live.
Amber’s PPD Support means…
Alot to me because it means a lot to her. I think it is important to her. It helps her grow as a person and move past this terrible part of her life that occurred.
Advice…
This is REAL. It can happen to anyone. Don’t feel badly. Don’t try to hide it. Don’t ignore it. Seek professional help right away. Be more proactive in finding out how your spouse is feeling postpartum. Ask her- Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you feeling depressed? Can we go for a walk and talk? Observe her. Is she getting enough rest? She is human, too. She needs more than 2 hours of sleep a day. Is she getting it? You are much better off taking the necessary time off in the beginning to try to avoid a PPMD getting worse than to let it evolve untreated. It will get worse before better. In closing you’ll note that in the beginning it may be harder to detect, but easier to cure. While left untreated, it will become VERY apparent and much more difficult to cure. My suggestion is to be proactive. It really can happen to your family.
(reposted from Unexpected Blessing)
Earlier this week, Kristina Fuelling found herself sentenced to the lowest possible sentence for the death of her eight day old infant. Fortunately she found herself in the presence of a very compassionate judge and prosecutor who were both able to recognize her actions were a result of Postpartum Psychosis. She is currently being held at a mental facility and will be transferred to a state prison for the remainder of her sentence once her mental state stabilizes.
Her husband, in exclusive first statements to a local news station, has promised to wait for Kristina and opened up about signs and symptoms of Postpartum Depression and Psychosis. He encourages fathers and loved ones of new mothers to educate themselves and become familiar with signs that things are not going well.
According to the article, Nicholas’ statement of encouraging awareness is:
“I would tell new mothers, or expecting mothers and fathers to research it, look into it. It’s just as important as any other factor of raising a child,” he said. “There are signs: lack of sleep, having trouble with breast feeding, having trouble taking care of the baby, lot of anxiety. But sometimes it comes just unexpectedly.Even in hindsight now, I don’t even think I could’ve been able to change it unless I knew beforehand,” Fuelling said.
“So I would tell people out there to look for signs of severe anxiety. Get help. Ask your friends and your parents, family, to come over to help take care of the kids. Don’t be alone on it if you feel any feelings of being scared or not being able to handle the situation,” he added.
Not terribly long ago, I found this entry at a new father’s blog, Dad’s Chronicles. He’s graciously granted permission for it to be shared here. Thank you!
I ought to write this article for a long time now, but I had to wait until my wife’s situation gets better. So when she reads this, she can just smile and realize what she had undergone. The situation I am talking about is Postpartum or Postnatal Depression.
I realized that new dads have a lot to deal with than I initially thought. From changing diapers, to soothing crying babies, to substituting your wife to feed the baby past 12 midnight, to carrying your baby and dancing to put her to sleep during the wee hours, and to your wife’s post natal depression.
My wife is a strong person, so I never thought she would undergo depression. I did not anticipate this situation so when it happened, I was unprepared. I found it hard to handle at first, but I slowly learned how to cope with it. During this period, I dropped almost everything except my work. I stayed away from photography for a while, I put off my investing activities, and stopped playing sports.
I let my wife know that I was there for her and became sensitive to her needs. I help her take care of our baby in anyway I can. Now that it’s getting better and looking back at the situation, if I am to grade myself, I think I did ok. I believe I just barely got a passing grade.
Postpartum Dads Project 